annjinette

… because everyone should have one.

In the event of an attack… many have detailed plans, but I’m pretty sure my plan is the winner.  Enjoy…

Step 1 – pull the bottle (or bottles, if you’re that kind of a planner) of Bacardi 151 out of your freezer
** you should have this in your freezer at all times, regardless of an impending zombie threat.  If you do not, you seriously need to re-evaluate your spending habits

Step 2 – take 4-5 swigs of 151
** good swigs – and don’t complain about the burn… complaining will make the zombies run towards you faster

Step 3 – Call your crazy friend with a lot guns and find a rendezvous location.  Drink more.
** it’s all about who you know, and there are certain types of people in life you should always know and befriend… lawyers, cops, ex-marines, good ol’ boys with a small arsenal in their garage(probably the ex-marine)… If you’re in TX like me, you can think of someone.

IF you have successfully rendezvoused AND you can get out of and back into your car with the lots-of-guns-friend without falling on you’re ass, proceed to step 4.  IF NOT, go strait to step 5.

Step 4 – Drive to the SA DC.  Probably drunk at this point (if not, take a few more swigs.  Remember… zombies)  Friend with guns should be shooting while you’re driving… if you want to call it driving at this point
** Sorry DCOps, but in the event of a zombie attack, a few of us have claimed your location as “home base”.  Either that, or we want everyone else in the company to think the SA DC is home base.  Whatever…

***If you don’t know what I’m talking about it… just forget it.  The joke has been lost.

Step 5 – if you have more than half the bottle of 151 left – drink up.  Zombies are-a-comin’  Hell, even if you have less that half a bottle left… drink… zombies.
** I know what you’re thinking… “WTF Ann”

*** Logic:  Zombies eat brains, which contain brain cells, of which break down, dehydrate and literally die off as we drink alcohol (hence the fun disorientation and slurred speech you experience while drinking… you are, in a sense, experiencing minor brain death – or some sort of weird voodoo witchcraft magic, whichever explanation you choose to accept).  Zombies are characterized by moving slowly (well, most zombies), having poor coordination, slurred and incomprehensible speech, and a mind that can only focus on one thing… poorly (like the pursuit of brains).  Now compare that with the behavior of a person who’s had about half a bottle of 151 and tell me if you can tell the difference between the two ;)  Also, theory would say that since your brain cells are dying, the zombies would not be able to identify your brain as a yummie human brain.

And if I’m wrong… you’ll be so drunk by the time they find you, you won’t feel a thing.

All in good fun…

… at updating her theme, that is.

Who’s idea was it to set her up with a blog anyway